Abandoned Pools The best thing I can say about this record is that the band seems genuine about its attempt at being an Interpol for the Hot Topic set. I honestly thought the makers of Armed to the Teeth were high school kids until I checked out their web site, which reveals an older set of musicians and the band giving props to U2 and Joy Division. Sadly, listening to cool bands does not make your band cool, no matter how many videos you shoot on the rooftops of Brooklyn in your vintage suits. Tommy Walter has the nice kind of nasally voice that doesn’t make you cringe. Unfortunately, his lyrics are often very cringe-inducing. Walter and co-conspirators Sean Woolstenhulme and Bryan Head churn out the equivalent of indie-rock easy listening that sounds perfectly all right when you’re on an indie rock elevator or waiting for the indie rock dentist to clean his scrapers. Unfortunately, there’s not much substance to be found when you get home and give the music your full attention. There are a few songs that rise above the self-absorbed musings of the South Park goth kid set – the single “Armed to the Teeth” is definitely the band’s best foot to put forward, and numbers like “The Catalyst” are catchy enough to entertain the partygoers on your average WB teen drama. In the end, Abandoned Pools make bland, inoffensive indie pop that college kids can add to their Our Lady Peace-dominated study soundtracks, and while this isn’t a bad thing for college kids or anyone else who likes that sort of thing, it’s not so great for music fans who prefer a bit of meat on their bones. -- Jim McGrath, 10/03/05
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