Fiona Apple Fiona Apple seems like a decent enough gal. Why then is she seemingly always catching a huge beat-down from both the press as well as her fans? Well, I’ll explain it to you (for the SECOND time) and I’ll try to explain it quickly ‘cuz frankly, I’m a little sick of this shit. Fiona Apple recorded an album called Extraordinary Machine in 2003 with longtime friend and mentor Jon Brion behind the boards. The album was scheduled for release twice. Both release dates came and went with no new album and little in the way of an explanation. Then tongues started wagging. Rumors flew that Apple’s label, Sony, was unhappy with the album and had shelved it indefinitely. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the entire album leaked in early 2005. With the completed Extraordinary Machine readily available to the public, internet chatter instantly reached a fever pitch. The album was undeniably exceptional—a logical step forward for both artist and producer. It seemed impossible then, even to the most jaded observer of the music industry, that Sony would find the album to have no redeeming qualities. People got all pissed off. Radio stations and newspapers championed the album—something they’re absolutely not supposed to do with unreleased material. Message boards lit up. A group of fans formed a website called freefiona.com and organized a protest which was staged outside of Sony’s Manhattan office one February afternoon when the temperature outside was a cozy 10 degrees. With all of this hooey going down, Apple remained out of sight. She made no attempt to explain the situation nor did her label. Months passed by with no news of any sort regarding the album. Finally, in the summer of 2005, Apple broke her silence. Turns out it was SHE who was unhappy with the album all along! A new date was set for a new-fangled Extraordinary Machine, recorded with Eminem producer Mike Elizondo. Ok, so where the heck was Apple when all of this controversy was spreading? Hanging around her mom’s place in her bathrobe watching the tube. That’s right—while Joey Fiona-Fan was freezing his ass off on some NYC sidewalk, shouting and throwing apples at Sony’s offices, homegirl was watching The Tony Danza Show. So now we a have a laundry list of grievances to air. First off, Apple was pressed to explain why she didn’t just tell people that the label hadn’t shelved the album. This being Fiona Apple, the explanation was vague and unsatisfying. Secondly, a completed version of the album had been out for a long time. Anyone who goes through the trouble of ripping an album from the internet is obviously a fan and cares about the artist to some degree. These fans, whom Apple depends on to buy records, would now be expected to disregard an extremely well-received album (that they weren’t supposed to hear, but anyway…) in favor of different version of that same album. If you’re familiar with the Jon Brion version of Extraordinary Machine, it’s nearly impossible to hear the new take with objective ears. Listening to the new Machine is a disconcerting and frustrating experience. The original was near-perfect, with Brion’s carnivalesque production brilliantly underscoring Apple’s songs. Brion has been an essential co-conspirator, throwing strings and flugelhorns over Apple’s songs since she started. He’s Brian Eno and Daniel Lanois to her U2. The new version of the album is all over the place. A few songs are improved from the earlier version while several sound pretty much the same. Other songs, however, have been completely destroyed in the transfer. The new Machine is bookended by two tracks that remain untouched from the Brion sessions—the gorgeous “Waltz (Better Than Fine )” and the cabaret vamp of “Extraordinary Machine.” The first part of the album is fairly straightforward, with “Get Him Back” nicely beefed up by Abe Laboriel’s steady drumming. “O Sailor” has some subtle differences that would probably go unnoticed by someone who doesn’t play music. “A Better Version of Me” originally rode bursts of B3 organ to a joyously climactic chorus. No such luck this time around. The new take on this one is tame and polished but still serviceable. “Parting Gift,” which did not appear on the original, is a stark bit of balladry that recalls some of the finer moments of Apple’s debut album. “Tymps (Used to love him)” is truly and vastly improved from the early version, with Elizondo’s hip hop skills providing the song with the edge it lacked on the overly quirky original. Unfortunately kids, it’s all downhill from there. Other songs just don’t measure up (“Please, Please, Please”) or are ineffectively retooled (“Red Red Red”). There’s no greater offender, however, than “Not About Love.” Originally the album’s lead off track, this song announced the return of Fiona Apple with some spine-tingling string work and a few well-placed angry foot stompings. All of that stuff is gone here. Instead, we get some unnecessarily tricky drumming from the dude from the Roots and nary a violin to be heard. Ultimately, Extraordinary Machine features strong songs and will probably be enjoyed by the masses. Fiona Apple fans, however, will be left with sore heads from all of the comparing and contrasting. While the artist’s intention is the most important thing, let’s just hope Fiona has her shit together when she makes another album. But then would she still be Fiona Apple? -- Dan Tebo
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